


Two Months, One Week, And Four Days

by audbooh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, House Cryber Holiday Cookie Exchange, Poetry, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audbooh/pseuds/audbooh
Summary: Written in dark, looping letters were short poems, neatly resting in between the lines. None of them exceeded a few verses, but Rey was drawn to them all the same. She quickly flipped through the book, amazed at the quality of the paper. She’s never seen paper this well-preserved, or new. Rey flipped back to the first page of the book. There it was, written in the most beautiful lettering she’s ever seen.Rey finds Ben's poetry from his days at Luke's academy.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 49
Collections: House Cryber Holiday Cookie Exchange





	Two Months, One Week, And Four Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ksco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksco/gifts).



_Two months, one week, and four days._

Rey was always aware of how long it had been since Crait. She didn’t mean to keep track, but the number burrowed into her head, taking root and refusing to be plucked out. No matter where she went, what she did, she was always reminded of it. _Dark brown eyes staring into hers. Lips quivering. Vulnerability painted on his face._

She laid in bed, tracing the grooves of the ceiling with her eyes. If Rey listened carefully, she could hear the soft snoring of her bunkmate below her. Her entire body tensed, and her mind screamed at her. _Too much too much get out get out._ Rey sat up, slowly climbing off of the bunk bed and grabbing her bag. The bag hit her side, and she froze, looking back at her bunkmate. But they were still fast asleep.

The halls of the Resistance base seemed to swallow all light as Rey walked through them. Every step echoed, and Rey flinched at the noise. _Tears welling in his eyes as he stared back at her. Defeat etched into his shoulders._ It was as if he was haunting her. She saw his likeness everywhere, in the halls, in the forest outside the base, in herself when she looked into the mirror. And every time, her heart panged and her chest collapsed and she was hit with unbearable loneliness.

Rey exited the base, breathing in the cool summer air. Her muscles relaxed, and there was a skip in her step as she ducked through trees and weaved through the grass. The trees faded away into a clearing, with a small pond in the middle, reflecting the moonlight. Rey sat at the edge, placing her bag beside her.

She pulled out one of the books in her bag, prepared to try and decipher the Jedi texts once more when a small book bound in leather fell out. Rey put the Jedi texts to the side, picking up the small book. It felt newer than the texts, and Rey traced the cover before opening the book.

Written in dark, looping letters were short poems, neatly resting in between the lines. None of them exceeded a few verses, but Rey was drawn to them all the same. She quickly flipped through the book, amazed at the quality of the paper. She’s never seen paper this well-preserved, or new. Rey flipped back to the first page of the book. There it was, written in the most beautiful lettering she’s ever seen.

_This book belongs to Ben Solo._

Rey closed the book rapidly, clutching it to her chest, her breath rapid and erratic. _A pale face lit by firelight. A warm touch. Angry eyes. A deep, inquisitive voice. Three words whispered to her._ Rey opened the book again, tracing Ben—no, Kylo now, he has to be Kylo—Kylo’s lettering. Rey took a deep breath, then flipped the page.

_I smile, as one should do,_

_But when I close my eyes,_

_The demons come,_

_And haunt my night._

_They whisper words to me,_

_They tell me the truth,_

_And I start to wonder,_

_What’s been kept from me._

_I close my eyes,_

_The demons come,_

_And they whisper words,_

_Of what I’ll become._

-

_They tell me,_

_what I should be._

_They sent me away,_

_they’ve lost me._

_I’ve seen the way,_

_the others stare,_

_I’ve heard what they say,_

_what they think of me._

_I’ve seen the way,_

_he looks at me,_

_as if I will rise up,_

_and slaughter them all._

-

_He whispers to me still,_

_Telling me of the one,_

_Who fell away from it all._

_I shouldn’t trust him, I know._

_But he seems to know it all, seems to know me,_

_More than they ever have._

_More than they have ever tried to know me._

“He still kept them?” a deep voice, all too familiar, whispered near Rey. She jumped in her seat, slamming the book shut and scrambling to her feet. Before her stood Kylo Ren, dark circles under his eyes and messy hair framing his face. Rey held the book to her chest, taking in his unkempt appearance. _Two months, one week, and four days._

“These are yours.” It was more of a question than a statement. Kylo nodded, taking a deep breath as he took a tentative step forward. Rey’s shoulders tensed, clutching the poetry book tightly. They stared into each other’s eyes, and Rey found herself unable to pull away. Kylo’s expression was guarded, but there was still that ache in his eyes, that _want._ It made Rey want to pull away, to avert her gaze. But she stood still, forcing herself to relax her muscles.

“I wrote them long ago. They don’t matter anymore. He should’ve burned them,” Kylo replied, his broad shoulders hunched. Rey wanted nothing more than to run her hands through his messy hair, to wrap her arms around him and hold on tight. But he gave up the right on the _Supremacy_ , and no matter how much she wished, he would never see the truth.

“No, he shouldn’t have.” Rey couldn’t stop herself from stepping towards him, dropping the book onto the grass. “This shows who you were. Who you are. You were a boy, preyed on by a monster.”

“Snoke showed me the truth. You can pretend, but you know what’s right. That boy was weak. I’m not him anymore.” Kylo clenched his fists, voice starting to rise. Rey glared at Kylo, her gaze fluttering towards his lips before she focused on his eyes. 

“Ben…” she trailed off, feeling her heart pang. _Maybe he was too broken_ a voice whispered in her mind. _Maybe she should give up._ No. She wasn’t giving up. She couldn’t fix him. He had to fix himself.

When Rey blinked, Kylo was gone. The sounds of the forest filled her ears once again, loud and comforting. Rey sat back down, her right hand brushing the leather cover of the poetry book. She took a deep breath, then picked up the book, flipping through its pages again.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the made-up poetry. I don't write poetry, but I tried.


End file.
